Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
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Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
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This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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