i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
