Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
