never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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