Where are you?
In a non slutty way
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
