I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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