I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
