Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
