I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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