Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
