The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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