My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
