420 ftw
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she woke up with a sticky ear
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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