I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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