Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
