yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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