the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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