i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
