dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
