How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
