ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
