Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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