Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm at about main and main street
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
