thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize