Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
