I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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