Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
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And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
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How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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