what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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