I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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