I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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