it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize