Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
