No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
