pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
