somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
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there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
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I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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