Joe is yelling at the trees again.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
