I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
