you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
