Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
