does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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