i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Semen is not good for contacts.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
