What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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