You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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