My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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