I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
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so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
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I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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