and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
