In the future we'll all be gay
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
