Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
