ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My dick has a subreddit
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