Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
