you suck at this game today
what if I'm pregnant?
what day is it and did you see me today?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.