So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet