That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.