So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
