let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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