FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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