dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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