honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
