I feel like abortions should bother me more
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
