The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
