so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
