i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
