He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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