Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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