Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
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getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
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My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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