While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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