I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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