please come you make the beer taste better
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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