when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
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i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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