Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
