She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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