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Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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