I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Farmville is her only friend.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
